My mum is super hilarious. She fears of me going into depression thinking that I'm fat and end up committing suicide. And because of that, she keeps telling me that I need to eat more because I'm like a bag of bones. But that's just HER perception.

I'm not thin, I'm not anorexic, so what's all the big fuss about? Not as though I'm refraining from food or anything, I'm STILL eating. Bumped into Jeremy back in PHS today during the Open House and he claimed that I'm thinner. Trust me dude, it's the uniform, I think. Haha.

I'm eating!!! So those constantly nagging me to eat more, I think you're just wasting saliva. Hurhur! Alright, just wanted to say that my mum's becoming paranoid about my weight and she's watching way too much TV, what depression and what suicide. -rolleyes-

But it's not a bad thing afterall. Suicide will end all misery.

I just realised that freezing to death is one of the most painful ways to die. It definitely would be an ordeal to die that way.

I concluded that because 2 days ago, I happily stuck my index finger into my tub of ice cream and dug it out to eat (ok, I know I asked for it for not using a spoon, but I have weird eating ways and habits, so spare me. And stop reading this with a raised eyebrow, with question marks in ur head, or with whatever expression that made its way to your face upon reading that sentence). After awhile my finger felt numb and I immediately withdrew it from the tub of ice cream and doused it in warm water.

The pain was temporary and the warm water eased the pain. But now, 2 days later, my finger is hurting like nobody's business! It's red, and sore, and I can't type properly with my index finger. It feels as though my finger might just fall off any moment. Ouch.

I shall not pull such weird stunts in eating stuff anymore. Maybe I should quit eating totally too, because who knows when I'll choke to death, and choking is an extremely nasty way to die as well. Hur!

Thanks dar for that ultimately heart melting surprise you made for me last night. Although it was just a simple thing, but it touched my heart alot. Coming up with such an idea in such a short time really is very amazing. Happy 4th month, I love you.

For those who are interested to know, he actually used candies to form the words, "4! I ♥ U" on my bed. =)

The flu bug is here to stay again. So is scratchy throat and irritating cough. Sucks like vacuum cleaner. I don't want to be sick.

YAY!
Results are out and I passed every damn subject!!! The fear of having to repeat at least 1 module have been bugging me ever since I sat for that paper. A good thing I don't have to repeat any modules.

I'm crazily happy, albeit I have 2 D-, but at least I passed ALL! YAY! I think I shall go back to sleep now. Haven't had enough sleep but once I was semi conscious I jumped out of bed to check my results.

Now that I'm satisfied, I'm going back to bed (although I doubt I can fall back asleep anymore). Have to go for parade later.

The pain that my wisdom tooth had been causing me over the past few days has subsided. However, I was rewarded with a major tummy ache this afternoon. It resembled food poisoning, where sharp pains shoots right up your abdomen and travels all the way up to your chest.

Yes, it was THAT bad. What made it worse was that my body refuse to purge out any waste. Took me a full hour of lugging myself to the toilet and back to bed before I eventually managed to release everything.

Dinner was more or less air. A little bit of potato and that's it. And now I think I'm hungry. Feel ultra empty in that poor bag of mine. Oh well, can't eat so late at night. I shall perservere!

Blasted Tooth
Why is the tooth at the far end of your gum that grows during adulthood called the 'wisdom tooth'? It obviously stupidly hurts so much that it shouldn't be given that name. Instead, I think 'stupid tooth' sounds more appropriate for it.

The whole of my left cheek feels sore, and every little thing I do sends shots of pain that causes my already-horrible-looking face to contort even more horribly. Even swallowing saliva is such a chore.

Solid food will be out for me for awhile till the pain subsides. I can happily live on water the entire day today. Shall sweeten up my drink a little so I get a little energy from whatever liquids I'm going to consume.

Stupid tooth! Blasted tooth! So much for the name it's been given. -_-

Boring!
My holidays have been boring so far. Apart from the consolation that I see my boy, there's really nothing better to do.

Thinking of registering with the driving centre instead of taking private. Hopefully mummy agrees to it.

Ever experienced when everything seems to go wrong all of a sudden and it's a streak?

It's so bad that I cried when my game character died. Perhaps I was already on the brink of tears, and that was the catalyst. A game.

Hmm...
Does it always hold true for all of them that when they are out having fun, they tend to momentarily forget us? It seems that that applies to all I've met.

By far, he's the best, maybe because comparatively, I've experienced much worse. But still, the nagging feeling of being somewhat abandoned still arises. In a way, I'm glad to have been put through so much in the past, because from there, I gain experience, and I learn. So now, it doesn't feel half as bad.

I'm not complaining, and I don't wish to either. It's just that some things must be released, just so as to feel slightly better and not so choked. There, I feel much better now. I'll just be patient, and back to my game I shall go.

Madness...
It's barely 7am and I'm already awake. Been awake since 2.30am. Slept at around 12.30am. Just two hours of sleep and I'm unable to sleep any longer. Something's wrong with my body system. Seems like this always happens during my holidays. Weird.

Boy just left my place for camp about an hour ago, and he'll be stuck in camp again today. Bummer. I miss him already. =(

COG
For the first time in my entire life, I went to watch COG (although I missed quite alot of the starting part, blame it on the bus and train!).

Because I was late, I didn't get to see the march from Heeren to Istana, so sad! Rushed like mad down to Istana and by the time I reached there, the SPDS performace came to an end and the squad was already marching into Istana. All the rush for nothing.

At least I got to see my darling march to the sentry post and stood sentry for about 15 minutes or so. My boy's stuck in camp now though, having parade tomorrow, what a Sunday.

Finally... BREATHE!
Exams are finally over, and now i dread the arrival of the results.

My boy's stucked in camp now, doing guard duty tonight. And apparently, they have a "guard dog" for company!

I'm missing my boy, can't wait to see him tomorrow. Party time!

For My Boy
Happy 3rd month anniversary to you. I love you.

Thanks Alot!
Ok, my previous entry caused a lot of big reactions for those who cared. Thank you all so much. I'm fine now, we're fine now. =)

Thanks to all who messaged me, be it over msn or sms, so sweet of you people. No worries about the previous post ok? Hugs to you all!

It's Happening Again...
The 2nd to 3rd month curse is back.

Stupid shit happens again and again. And it has to happen again now. I don't want to relieve my past, I don't need to.

Finding fault, arguing over trival stuff, being an ass.

Ultimately Sweet
Whoever drops by your place despite having a serious diarrhoea, rests at your place for a few hours, heads back home past midnight, games with you a while online, then decide to come back to your crib just to spend the rest of the few hours of the night with you before heading back to camp?

The sweetest thing alive did that. =)

Went to AMK Community Hospital with my darling boy in hopes of being able to get the priscription prescribed by his MO but the stupid pharmacy at the hospital had to close so early. -_-

Headed back home and I cooked him dinner again. I love cooking for my boy ( although what I cook is very much just throwing frozen food into the toaster or microwave, and just having to cook the rice, porridge or pasta. ) It's fun!

Have to study again today, bummer.

What The Fuck
For losing a house key (misplacing it rather), is it fair to be railed at by you mum? In addition to that, she accuses you of being damn irresponsible and slams your room door as she exits. It's not fair.

My mom just did that to me. Only after that incident, then was I told that my key have been found at Dilun's place. When my mom entered my room again, she wanted to start railing at me again, but I told her the key's been found. Without even acknowledging, she just shut my door behind her. And the thing is, it's not like I lose my key every month or what. It's the first time in 19 years of my damned life that I lost my key (didn't really lose it afterall).

I don't expect an apology from her for accusing me and branding me as "irresponsible", but at least acknowledge the fact that my key isn't missing afterall right? Life's not great, I don't need more shit.

I hate it whenever you purchase the papers, everything else aound you becomes secondary. You become very oblivious to your surroundings, and the papers prevails everything. What's worse is that you could just simply walk away without saying a thing just to get your papers.

Playing the "non-existence" game? Perhaps. When you dug into your pocket for shillings, I knew you wanted to get the papers, but you could have at least said something. That's basic courtesy. What you did makes me feel that we're both separate entities. Just "you" and "I", not "us".

An hour and a half of silence is all I got from you, and it's still counting. Is it really such a chore toinform? And sometimes, may I ask of you to put your papers aside, because one thing for sure is that the papers would not run away or vanish into thin air just like that.

So wrong. Everything's starting to get so very wrong. Please let this end.

What The Shit!
I awoke to the greatest shock of my life! With only 3 hours of sleep, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me when I saw 43 mails.

I thought: "ok maybe I'm just tired and my eyes are not focusing well", so yes, I rubbed them and looked again, still, Four and Three glued side by side and they didn't distant from each other at all. Forty-Three was staring hard right back in my face. Totally -_-" .

Can't seem to post the screen shot. =(

My boy got into the .38 finals and came in 4th. Same as two years back. I didn't make it into the finals, how sad, but it's okay. My preliminary scores sucked this year! Probably make a come back next year, we'll see about that.

Not Used To It
It's the first night after four nights that my darling boy isn't with me. And in about half an hour's time, he's got to head back to camp. That marks the end of his long MC.

Currently chatting and mapling with him till he heads back to camp.

Ich liebe dich lade Liebling.