When you think you've got the best guy in the world, the golden egg in the basket, or the cream of the crop, think again. Nothing can ever be too good to be true.

My suspicions were true. Yet I've been fooled around by them, which led me to think that perhaps I was being way too analytical and overly-suspicious.

The man I love, the woman girl involved, and the housemate. Lie after lie. I feel like a fool. And I was made to apologise to her for something that I should be the one being apologised to instead.

Been troubled since I was there, all the way till last night, when everything tumbled out. There's only so much I can take. Have any of you thought about me for a moment, that I'm only human, and there's only so much pain a living soul can take.

I'm hurting, and none of you will ever understand the pain I'm experiencing, unless you're being put through the same load of shit as I was put through. What did I do to any of them to deserve this?

Face Lift - An Attempt.

When the attempt to get your damaged iPhone exchanged for free fails, what do you do then? An alternative is to do the exchange at a cost of $328. But if you are really too poor to fork out that amount of cash, a low cost cosmetic change can be implemented.




Okay, stop laughing already. I know the front of my iPhone looks fugly. =(((

When Things Are Down.

Because Cookie ran loose from his leash, my Dad gave chase. Because I was ahead of them and Cookie was running my way, I tried to block Cookie, failed, and gave chase. Because I was wearing slippers, I tripped over them, and sent myself flying forward, onto the asphalt.

Damages were not light, not at all.


Left elbow.


Left hip.
And if you think the wounds are bad enough, you're wrong. The pain that shot right through me wasn't the physical pain, but the pain that was felt deep within my heart.



Now tell me, which hurts more? FML.

I do not understand why. The pacts and promises you made are broken every now and again. The lies you used to cover up more lies. The friends you used to cover up your lies. Making everything seem like I really wronged you. But now that the facts and truths are out, I am truly the one who got stabbed, not once, not twice, but multiple times.

Overkill.

Clumsy.

Just the other day, as I was packing my clothes into my cupboard, I forgot that I left my cupboard door open. So after folding my clothes, I spun around so quickly and walked right into the door, where my left arm took the brunt of the assault.

It really isn't funny at all because the area is slightly swollen and hurts like a bitch when I run my fingers lightly over it. Nice holiday gift I got myself.

Today is one of those days where I feel totally overwhelmed, lost, tired and with my path ahead so bleak. I cannot put my finger on what is the cause of it.

Maybe going home later tonight and blogging about my KL trip will lift my spirits somewhat.

The last few days have been emotionally and physically taxing on the whole family. 2 departures in 2009, but the closures were nice, for we all know there are 2 extra Angels looking over us.

May 2010 be a happier and healthier one for all. KL, here I come.

2 days ago, I spilled my melon milk. Yesterday, I spilled my cereals. This morning, my persimmon rolled out of my hand. But people always say, "there's no point crying over spilled milk", or cereal, or fallen persimmon for that matter of fact.

I feel like a sinner for wasting food, whichever method the wastage was made. I must be the biggest sinner on Earth.

As it gets harder each day, I feel more dejected but I know giving up isn't the solution. I just have to hold it up for another couple of days before Jay-Jay returns from Sydney. Just a couple of days.

Ever since my damn problem was openly made known to them, it has bonded me closer to him but caused a strain between me and her once in awhile. And it hurts so bad that my chest physically feels the pain.

At times like this, I feel I cause too much pain to the people around me and it makes me feel that I am better off dead.

Today is the day I get my stitches removed. Today is the day I get to see how bad the damage is. Today is the day that I will regret putting myself through that painful surgery and having to live with the fugly scars for life. Today, is the day.

Edited @ 12.45pm:

No, I haven't had my stitches removed due to a few factors thrown together, but will be doing so tomorrow. So tomorrow is the day I have to go down to TTSH for an appointment with that doctor, and tomorrow is the day I will probably hate my body even more. =(

This afternoon, just before I woke from my slumber, I dreamt of Dada.

In my dream, I saw Dada as a fit man, just like how he was before his stroke. I saw him crossing the carpark and I happily called out to him and ran towards him as fast as my short legs could carry me. I finally reached his side and he said just one sentence to me, "I'm now Dada and Popo together as one". And that was it.

I was tearing in my dream, and I woke up startled with real tears in my eyes. From what I decipher, his sentence meant that Popo has now taken the role or being a father and a mother to her children, and a grandfather and a grandmother to her grandchildren.

I miss Dada, I really do.

Today, someone from Pasir Ris called my younger brother and said that a dog very much resembling Sparky was found. Bro went down and according to him, that dog looked and barked exactly like Sparky, but Sparky's "birthmark" was not present. Also, the dog was not very responsive when my brother called him "Sparky". We can only continue to hope and pray that Sparky's safe and alive.

I miss Sparly, I really do.

My laptop's hard disk crashed. I'm only hoping that my data can all be retrieved. It'd be a bonus if the hard disk can be reformatted and used again. If not, whether to get a new laptop/desktop or to get a new hard disk will be a decision I have to make. Damn. =(

Weight Woes?

In the changing room of the country club earlier, I overheard a very alarming and disturbing statement made by a young girl.

Girl: Mommy, my tummy is very fat. I want my tummy to be flat flat.

When I got out of the shower and was blow drying my hair, the mother and daughter came out and I got a rude shock to see that the girl was only around the age of 7. To add on, she was nowhere near chubby, not even the least bit.

Right after I weighed myself, the girl immediately hopped onto the scale and because I was just beside the scale, I couldn't help but saw her weight reflected on the scale. The scale read: 21.7kg

She called her Mom over to look at the readings and asked, "Is it still 120?", which I presume she meant 120%. In all honesty, I can't see where that excess 20% of weight is hidden in that girl's small body.

It's sad to know that girls so young are already worrying about their weights, and schools somewhat have a part to play for this.

He's just like the others. And I thought he was different. Oh, he sure was different, a million times worse than the others. He excel in that. Dinosaurs do not exist anymore. Period.

With my own loved ones (or so I thought) against me, I've never felt so alone before.

It is so freaking annoying that our trip to Bangkok which we planned and booked air tickets for in July 2008 have to be cancelled. And it is all because of all the crazy chaos going on there.

So what if the airport is open again, we're not crazy enough to risk our lives to go there and get shot/raped/trampled over/whatever.

It's a trip that the girls and I have been planning for so long already. Air tickets were booked in July, so go figure our anticipation for it which is now being flung out of the window. Damn.

It is so depressing that my Sony Ericsson W850i has decided its time is up. I have to admit that it didn't die on its own accord, but I killed it unintentionally. So it's really more like manslaughter than murder. =(

Hopefully I'd be able to get a new phone later today. So anyway, on a happier note, NJ4 who is always full of shit and surprises bought me a N.U.M singlet. Because of such surprises, he has lied to me countless times, but they were lies without malice or ill intentions. White lies.


After getting his car for so long, today was the first time (I think) we took the train to town! A good 6 hours of walking later, we had dinner at Waraku because I was craving for Mentai, but sadly, the new outlet at Heeren didn't have Mentai on their menu. =(


His: Cold Udon with Crab in Cream Sauce


Mine: Avocado and Tomato Salad with Japanese Dressing
And because it's the season to be jolly and the season for giving, I gave myself a present from Braun Buffel. LOL!


For a set like this, the price was ridiculously cheap! And because I've eyed on this design long ago when it was first launched, I bought it almost immediately without a second thought. I'm so happy! =)

And for those who are interested to know how huge exactly Tigger is:

A week since my last post and it's been one hell of a taxing and long week. Everyday just gets worse, and the fact that the past week have been revolving around random meetups and food doesn't help.

1 whole month of effort went down the drain in just 1 week. Damn.

It's not funny when you have to go to the washroom 6 times within 4 hours, and it's even less amusing when it isn't the doings of nature.

I can see the obvious telltale signs of suicide.