whoo hoo!
guess wat?!the 2 babes skipped the whole day of sch 2dae!haha...power!!!dey were actually on their wae 2 sch but coz dey realised dat dey din do accounts tutorial(dey had 2 present their ans),dey decided nt 2 go 2 sch at all!hahaha...
aniwae,i met up wif steph aft sch...wen 2 suntec...den raffles city...haha...got myself a new pair of slippers frm m)phosis...it's plain black but pretty...i can finally kiss my both pair of old slippers goodbye n sae hello 2 my new edition...haha...

*awaitin thursdae's arrival*

tiring dae...
dang...juz got hm nt too long ago...sucha long dae 4 me 2dae...had plans since the moment i got outta bed...diz was how my dae wen:
wen 2 phs 4 npcc training...gave my sec 1s a lect on the 0.177 air rifle...the classroom was so freakin stuffy...tink the ventilation in the sch classrooms sux 2 the core!
aft parade,wen 4 lunch wif the campcraft team n the TOs...one of the TO gave us all a treat,was so freakin full!tink diz was the 3rd treat we had diz yr oready!so generous!
aft the soooo filling lunch,teck soon,joo song,cherry n i headed 2 mayflower sec campus 1 4 atc miting...
aft the miting i rushed hm juz 2 shower n left hm once i was done...haha...met up wif jay jay at dover den headed 2 NP 2 mit emily n sylvia...hmm...the strings concert was ok...
wen 4 dinner at bukit timah market or smth liddat lah aft the concert...dat was like 9 plus 10?den took 852 home...the damn bus took 15-20mins 2 arrive!i almost died of boredom!gtg to bed now!

hypocrites alert!
wen out wif danping 2dae,met her aft sch...had dinner wif her parents den her parents sent me hm aft dat...how sweet!
oh yah,2 tink there r really ultimate suckers arnd!?how hypocritical can ppl get?get a life!act like a pure angel infront of ppl n turn in2 a fuckin devil the nxt min...yucks!stop bein childish!u dun hafta TRY 2 act nice!it's so disgusting to act!wateva u r doin,it's damn fuckin obvious,dun hafta TRY 2 hide it here n there!it's so NOT workin!no1 provoked u so shut ur stinky lil ass!i hate the sight of u!

*pissed 2 the max*

there he goes...
hon enlisted le...woke up diz mornin n his parents came 2 get me den we wen 2 sembawang 2gether to send him to camp...
the pool's so darn cool...it's like 10 metres deep...wif levels of 1 metre n 4 metres(where they'd b doin most of their trainin at)...the pool can b seen frm beneath...similar to dat of viewin polar bears in the zoo...haha...
saw an enlistee hu looked really familiar...tink he's 1 of the CII frm CIBTC...he kinda gave me the "i tink i noe u" look too...hmm...
dunno watz he doin now...guess his hair is gone...tink he'll look kinda weird?cant imagine...saw pics of him wif real short hair b4...but botak is pretty hard 2 imagine...hmm...he'll book out nxt thurs coz fri is gd fri...cant wait...missin him oready...
n the worst thing is dat their freakin officer said dat dey cant haf their handfones wif dem!!!even so,it'll b kept by the officers...dang!diz is so torturing man!at least tekong allows recruits 2 use their hps...NDU is simply so weird...nvm lahz...im lookin 4ward 2 nct thurs...

pissed!
dang!jerks still exist in diz era?!n it's juz my luck dat i happen 2 noe 1...alwaes using the word "fuck" on gals?so barbaric n unrefined...dunno watz his prob...nv provoke him n i got blasted 4 nth...
he likes 2 get tings heated up wen everything is so calm...tink he juz loves 2 find fault wif ppl...i wun b surprised if he loses all his frenz...tink if dat dae cums,he deserves it totally!wif his kinda attitude,he cant hang on 4 long...

*gonna dig a grave specially 4 u!*

a few more hrs is all datz left...
15 hrs n decreasing...hon's left wif juz dat lil time b4 he enlist...so scary!
aniwae,hon's cumin over later...muz spend the last few hrs wif him...haiz...will miz him...seems like these few daez ive been tokin abt diz issue n nth else...well,it's coz he's really on my mind too much...haiz...
dunno how m i gonna pass the nxt 3 wks...it'll be torturous but i will make it!
hmm...exams cumin up soon...gotta buck up le...haiz...

nervousness sets in...
juz got back frm hon's place...aft sch i wen 2 orchard 2 get some things done den bought takopachi balls 4 my baby cos he was craving 4 it...
haiz...baby will b enlistin real real real soon...he's left wif like 1 more dae!datz like juz tmr onli...n the dae aft he'll b bald!i'll definitely miss him alot!dunno how life's gonna b w/o him arnd...im gonna flood him wif msgs...hahaha...den he'll go bonkers wen he reads dem all b4 he slps...hehe...
haiz...he wants me 2 attend sch on wed...n nt send him in...but...i DUN CARE!!!i wanna send him in!!!no matter wat he saez,im gonna skip sch n send him in!!!
baby,i'll miss u alot...really...i luv u hon...take care...

Muacks!!!
happy 4th mth hon!!!we've been thru alot...n i really mean ALOT!luv u so much hon!

yay...happy 2dae...
juz got hm frm my date wif honey...jason n his gf too...we sort of double dated...hehe...watched scooby doo 2 again...juz realised 2dae dat wen i watched it the other dae,i missed quite alot of parts...haha...
b4 the show n b4 miting jason n xian wen,baby n i walked arnd...n time alone wif him was enjoyable...
aft the show,jason n xian wen wen off on their own...so 2 sae it was hon n i again!hehe...walked arnd 4 awhile...den headed back hm...
yawnz...super duper tired...tink i'll slp soon!

haiz...
haiz...baby...ydae wen u msged me saein u 4got 2 bring ur hp,it was 3 plus...den y ur journal was timed at arnd 1pm?i dunno but somehow u aint bein really very honest...i dowanna b lied by u animore,coz it hurts me alot...esp wen i find out tings by myself...it really sends a stab thru me...
aniwae,im still sick...coughing like a nutcase...last nite almost dieded coz breathing was so tight!
hon's enlistin real soon...will miss him lots...hmm...kk,gtg...


-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
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bozo!
was feeling kinda crummy 2dae...n guess wat...yes,i did it again...bought a white long sleeve tee frm topshop...guess it's turnin in2 sum kinda bad habit...weneva im troubled,i'd spend...
last mth was on dat zara jacket...n now diz...owellz,i fell in luv wif it the moment i saw it n i cldnt resist it...it happened wif dat zara jacket too...aniwae it's nt alwaes dat i fall in luv wif sumting immediately once i c dem...so yepz,weneva i c smth i really really like,i'd get it...i shld start pamperin myself more...
aniwae,i juz hope dat diz wldnt turn in2 a habit...aniwae my mum said dat the top was nice...but she almost strangled me wen she saw the price tag...haha...
another boring evening im gonna spend...ciaoz every1!

pleasant dae...
yawnz...juz got hm...2dae was a nice dae indeed...met hon diz afternoon at arnd 12 n we wen 2 body worlds 2gether...the exhibitions were pretty boring...mayb coz im sick datz y i dion really enjoyed myself...but time spent wif hon was great...
at arnd 5,we left expo n i headed 2 town 2 mit my CI mateys...watched scooby-doo 2 wif dem...abit lame lahz...waste of my time n money...now im officially broke...brought out 60 bucks n im left wif like 4 bucks?damn...how poor can i get man...
haiz...now my hon is angry wif me juz coz he tot i msged him earlier 2 sae im goin hm but the fact is dat i msged him onli at 9pm wen i juz finished eating dinner...den at 9.45 wen he still haven reply,i msged him once more 2 ask y he din reply n told him i'd b goin hm soon...den dunno y he said i msged him 2 hrs b4 2 sae im goin hm...dunno wat happened lehz...haiz...now im so stressed over dat...n the worse thing is dat now he's kinda dao-ing me...sad sia...haiz...
nvm lahz...im goin off 2 slp le...hope tmr everyting will b fine...

yawnz...
haiz...been feelin really lethargic lately...dunno y...
juz got back frm PHS nt too long ago...PHSNPCC is havin a camp now n i finally saw 4 myself 2dae dat a computer in the com lab is really switched onat nite!there's no entry 2 the room somemore...freaky huh?i heard diz frm mani ppl b4 n onli 2dae i saw it 4 myself...was wif cherry wen we saw it,coz we wen 4 a trial of the solo walk...
hmm...the solo walk thingy was pretty scary...tink the cadets really put in lotsa effort in it...kinda spooky...
hmm...tmr aft my econs test i still gotta go get a cake den head dwn 2 ECP 2 join the rest...argh...i gtg oready...muz mug...ciaoz!

tired...but very very happy...
yawnz...juz got hm...aniwae i wen 2 sch as usual den aft sch i met my lil cow...we wen 2 watch the eye 2...nt bad but i feel dat the eye 1 was betta...
b4 the show,we juz walked arnd PS n aft the show,we wen 2 Istana Park while baby enjoyed his takopachi balls...aft he was done wif his takopachi balls,we wen back hm...hehe...he wen 2 cut his hair n the barber was so full of crap...so farnie...
althou nth much was done at his place,time spent wif him was nice...wish dat we can spend more time 2gether b4 he enlist...spending time wif him juz makes me feel...so happy n contented...so xin fu...haha...
tmr im gonna skip my 2 lects coz im goin 2 PHS aft my CIP for NPCC camp...but i won't b stayin over cos of econs test...

tired...
argh!im so freakin tired!diz mornin brought my cadets 4 their civil defence course...now im in sch in my PT kit!so lame!oh yah,got a mornin msg frm baby so earli in the mornin!i was so shocked!but dat was so swt!
hmm hon,some things dat u do 2 me hurts so much n i dun complain 2 ani1 so the onli wae 2 feel betta is 2 sae it all out in my journal...
alritez...tcher naggin at me le...blog another time...miz u all peeps!

haven been bloggin much...
hmm...it seems like there's alot of things goin on wif ur life...new gals etc etc...yeahz,missed those times whereby i'd b the 1st 2 noe all those things...aniwae,felt relieved wen i read ur blog...it gave me a lil sense of...happiness?
life's pretty rocky lately...had alot of misunderstandings wif jer...im gettin more n more used 2 it oready...haiz...things aint dat bright on my side...
was supposed 2 mit jer diz mornin at 9am at yck mrt...but apparently he fell aslp again n onli at 10am den he answered my call...i wasted 1 whole freakin hr...i almost wanted 2 cry...2 tink i was so patient 2 wait 4 an hr...
i hafta force myself alot in order 2 lead life happier...i gotta try...hard...

the world is splitting!
aye!wat a haywire world...everyting was pretty calmed dwn wen sum1 had 2 juz cum in n crash everyting...as if life wasnt oready bad enuf 4 me?he was supposed 2 b sum1 whom i cld confide in(coz he TOLD ME i cld),nw he's backfiring me?
aye...nvm...im learning 2 take tings easily...mayb i shld lock myself up,awae frm the world,4 awhile...

depression...
im goin thru a minor depression now...my appetite has gone dwn the drain...it aint serious yet,but i hope my condition wun worsen...
i finally knew where jer wen...he claimed dat he was out wif a fren...n his life is kinda messy now...but wat i dun understand n cant relate 2 him is dat y he doesnt wanna share his woes wif me...it seems like he nv opens up 2 me...he noes i hate 2 b lied 2...
i really wish dat u wun hide aniting frm me animore...u noe i hate it...wen ur life is in a whirlwind,mine is too...coz ur life affects mine...it's nt fair to me!

dreams r nv 2 b ignored...
i mentioned dat i had nitemares abt jer 4 the past 2 nites rite?i tink those nitemares were omens 4 me...diz mornin i woke up feeling strange...n my senses were rite...
my prediction is gettin stronger n betta...jer lied 2 me 2dae...a major lie...diz mornin he msged me saein he juz got hm n i presumed he'll b at hm resting coz he's sick...den abt 3 smth,i msged him,n he said my msg woke him up...i called him a lot of times n he rejected all my calls...i den called his home n found out dat he aint at hm...his mum said he onli wen hm diz mornin 4 awhile n left wif a fren 4 breakfast...n din return hm aft dat...
y din he tell me n y did he hafta lie...n y cldnt he even ans my call...he said dat i dun tell him my probz n expect him 2 noe...
i cried so much during biz stats lect...thankfully my frenz were very supportive...but i cldnt concentrate during lect...dunno y he bcame liddat all of a sudden...there's smth really wrong n he aint tellin me...
he noes dat i hate ppl 2 lie 2 me...yet he kips doin it again n again...n 2dae was the worst of it all...wat the fuck is wrong with him?

tipsy turvey & up-side-down...
singapore was flooded ydae!woot!amazing...
aniwae,im so happy coz i juz bought a Zara jacket ydae...it cost me $60 but heck!i fell in luv wif it the moment i saw it,datz y i cldnt resist not buyin it...impulsive purchase,but heck!haha...it's a plain baby blue jacket...but the material won me over!dats y i bought it w/o tinking twice...
aniwae,din mit dear ydae...so sad...been havin nitemares the nite b4 n last nite...i dunno y...but datz spooky...haiz...wish dear wld recover frm his sickness soon!
haiz...he's enlisting real soon too...but owellz,nvm...i'll still get 2 c him on weekends rite?haha...
to you,dun assume dat life is great on my side...the wae u put it is like im havin a rockin great time...nahz,dat aint true...sometimes i do wish u r still arnd buggin me here n there...it's a kind of bonding dat feels gd...like u,empitness sets in sometimes...wen i tink back,memories cut deep like a knife...can c dat u r gettin on wif life pretty fine lately so all i can do now is hold on 2 memories...
alritez...gtg to sch,luckily daddy is sending me...

the holz...gone juz liddat...
damn...my holz r over...yucks!i spent it at hm everydae!horrid!urgh...i haven enjoyed myself yet!priority is alwaes given 2 npcc n nth else...nt dat im complainin but ive really nt rested enuf yet...as in mentally n physically...shag...


You're Elemant is Wind. You're light-hearted,
care-free, kind, sensative, and mysterious. You
have friends and most absolutely love you. You
can be calm and soothing one minute and ragging
in anger the next so no one wants to get on
your bad side. You're beauty is inspiring and
magical.


What's Your Element(girls)? (PICTURES)
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Congrats! Your a Pure Angel! Angels, as far as most
of them go, are all compatabile creatures, but
Pure ones simply are symbols of God. Pure
Angels always appear when a child is born, when
a rainbow is seen, or when someone shares their
first kiss. They never grow old, an can appear
in the shape of a naked woman with white, bold
wings. Pure angels are the carriers of god, and
show their love to everyone in the world.


What Kind of ANGEL are you? (For Girls only) This Quiz has amazingly Beautiful Pictures!
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whoo hoo!!!
woot!the com is finally ok le!!!n i finally got back my msn!!!yippie!!!
oh aniwae...life's been terrible w/o msn...haha...hmm...aniwae...wen 4 np training 2dae(or ydae rather coz it's past midnite)den yong kang came dwn...haha...so long nv c him le...i remembered him as the fierce CI...haha...but 2dae he was damn frenly...
hmm...den saw jacky as well...he msged me juz now at arnd 8 i tink n asked if i was in phs 2dae...n said i so dao...wat the heck...haha...dunno him dat well,so datz y din sae hi...
hmm...my hon is sick...been sick pretty often lately...muz take care!
alritez...take care every1!!!cheerios!

haiz...
baby got his As results back 2dae n he's feelin crummy over his results...wanted 2 b there 4 him but he wanted time 2 b by himself...i haf no idea where he wen either...he juz got hm...left me a msg saein he's hm n dat he's gonna go eat wif his family nw...i asked where he wen aft he collected his results but he din reply me...
humpx...another boring dae...watched armageddon...finally watched the whole show completely...

yawnz...
man...im so slpy...*yawnz*...baby came over diz morn...he's still here,slpin like a log...so i did my own stuff the whole dae while he slept like a log...hmm...haven done much 2dae...juz played FFX...
hopefully tmr will b a more eventful dae 4 me...my holz r so freakin boring...i spent the whole wk at hm!2 tink i wasted my 1 wk holz juz liddat...bleah!
tmr's the big dae 4 baby...his As results r cumin out...wish dat he'll do well! =) well well,i tink ive got nth more 2 blog...diz is gettin real boring...im off!gonna go back 2 my FFX...cheerios!

the holz r here...but it doesnt seems like it 2 me...
i dunno y but i juz dun feel dat wae...tmr still gotta go back phs 4 GOH training...there goes 1 dae of my holz...
hmm...baby's enlisting real soon but he's still workin his life awae...wen on earth r u gonna quit n spend more time with me?
alritez...my bro juz re-formatted the computer n now there isnt ani msn 6!argh!n the bloody windows messenger aint workin...cant seem 2 work aniting now...sianz...
there's nth 2 do online now(coz no msn!)so aft diz entry i tink im goin back 2 my FFX!hahaha...im in sin now,gonna fight seymour...haha...ok lahz...im outta here...back 2 my game!yay!!!buaiz~

yes!finally defeated yunalesca!haven touched FFX 4 soooooo mani mths oready coz i was stucked at yunalesca...so i gave up...sch started 4 me back den so i had 2 stop too...so now dat my holz r here again,ijuz started playin it again ydae...trained my ppl hard,real hard n wen 2 fite yunalesca n yepz!i defeated her on the 1st bloody attempt!b4 sch started i fought her mani mani mani times yet i still failed...but now!hahaha...yay!victory is mine!i muz play FFX intensively le...gettin hooked on2 it once again...darn!but hey,luckily it's my HOLZ!!!!!hahaha!alritez...signing off!

izzit misconception or izzit dat u r juz plain oblivious?
hah!my toes r laffin!hueva said u were insultin me?plz read properly in future!n hueva said i cry in the middle of the nite 4 u or 4 aniting?i'll nv do dat!yes,i was sad dat tings turned out diz wae n i had cried enuf daes ago...far i haven shed a tear 4 u...no more!another correction 4 u,wat was all the tok abt prostitute?i oso din mention all those...u were the 1 hu came up wif all those probably coz datz on ur mind...owellz...wateva...
if u wanna play tuff wif me,so b it...tok 2 u nicely on msn,u ignore me...fine!yah,now i've seen the real u,the nasty side of u...my perception of u wasnt dat bad yet...till i read ur last entry on 29th feb...
wateva hope of wantin 2 hold on 2,u r tellin me straight in my face 2 let it all go...is dat it?fine,i respect ur "decision"...wat u wan u juz sae lah ok?if my effort of bein nice now aint workin,den i shall nt waste dat effort.so juz speak up.
even if aniting wld 2 change now,tings btwn us will b remain as sucky as it is now rite?
i tink im gonna haf a mental breakdwn soon...but hu cares?!

leap year!!!
it's the leap year!haha...ok,it's nt a very big deal but since it's once every 4 yrs,i feel i shld juz leave an entry for fun...haha!
aniwae,i woke up at like 1pm,finally replenished my beauty slp...still abit tired but at least i look more refresh 2dae...
my holz r here...i muz go n lay out my plans 4 the wk,otherwise i'll b bored 2 death...haha...

oh...onli aft tings r liddat den u sae u r a fool 4 doin all those tings 4 me?sour grape...ive noticed ur wae of handling tings...wen u cant get some1 or smth or aft a breakup,u'll condemn the gal...do u tink it's fair 2 dem?if datz ur wae of handling tings,den u r childish...
u alwaes tok bad abt ur exes aft the breakup...yes,dey broke ur heart,but whose heart hasnt been broken b4?u hafta learn 2 take tings in ur stride n stop ur childish waes...nv ever use swear words at gals cos it's crude...whether u wanna listen,up 2 u.

dead tired...
gosh...im so darn tired...been out the whole dae 2dae since 8am!juz got hm...
ok,here's how my dae went...wen 2 sch at 9-10 4 my accounts CA,aft dat rushed all the wae back 2 PHS coz gotta go 2 PA 4 the campcraft com(girls)...the girls' standard is much betta than the guys!our gals managed 2 set everyting up...pretty impressed wif their flagstaff...tent was nt too bad too!
aft the competiton,ms sharmila treated us 2 KFC at thomson plaza...den aft dat i received a call frm my squadmate askin if i wanted 2 go out wif dem...i had nth 2 do so wen out wif dem...6 of dem i tink, or was it 5?
ok...here's the idiotic n exahusting part...we actually walked frm somerset all the wae 2 PS but din enter PS n ended up takin mrt frm dhoby ghaut...so idiotic!walk 1 station 2 another station 2 take mrt...tot dey wanted 2 walk arnd PS awhile...nvm lahz,take it as a form of exercise...haha...
ok...here's the more idiotic part...wen i reached yck,it started 2 rain heavily so i called my daddy n guess wat...he wasnt at hm!he n mummy were at conrad hotel!argh!den coz it was raining,i cldnt go back on my own...so yupz,i wen ALL the wae 2 conrad 2 look 4 dem!!!
it's time 2 rejoice!coz my holz r here!hahaha...althou it's juz a measly 1 wk break,but it's betta than nth!i had betta catch up wif my beauty slp man!otherwise...i'd b like wat my squadmates call me : "xiao xiong mao" ...hahaha...

yippie...
2dae's our 3rd mth...wen 2 sch 2dae as usual...n hon juz surprised me by askin me 2 go 4 dinner wif his jc frenz(ronnie n shaun)haha...so yepz...wen out wif dem...had dinner at nooch...
oh yah...gave hon the topman shirt le...haha...n he got me 2 CDs dat i've alwaes wanted...a gareth gates album n a clay aiken album...haha...thanxie!heez...
aniwaez...i've got my accounts CA tmr n i've not really started studyin...sheesh!n tmr's the start of my term break!yippie!so happy...finally it's the holz...cant wait 2 slack...been slpin too little lately...i nid 2 catch up on slp during my holz!haha...

happy dae turned sour...
2dae was actually an alrite dae 4 me...wen 2 topman at suntec's branch aft sch 2 get a shirt 4 hon...i was really excited abt it but hon disappointed me...he had diz "sudden" last min gathering wif his jc frenz...n the best ting was dat he din tell me abt it...knowing dat i dun like last min decisions,i haf no idea y he still wen on wif it n din tell me abt it...if i din ask,he wldnt haf told me abt it...till now,u still haf no reasons as 2 y u cant reply my msg?
hope dat life wld turn arnd soon...sick of all diz oready...

thanks...
thx so much 4 all the support...deb,steph,val n of coz nt 4gettin,hon...u ppl juz rock!guess now the onli phrase dat'll b running thru my mind frequently is "if onli...blah blah blah"...but owellz,no pt dwelling over diz rite?juz gotta wait n c wat can b done nxt...
hmm...cant wait 4 the holz 2 cum...but rite on the dae wen my holz start(which is on 28th feb),i haf accounts CA!so dumb...biz stats was on V dae...now accounts is on the 1st dae of our holz...how smart can SP get man?
owellz...tink im gonna laze arnd 2dae n juz relax...life was too fast paced 4 the past few daez...

farewell...
yepz,it's the end of everyting oready...last nite's last n final chat wif u...i'll rem the date...24th feb,dat u used "fuck u" on me...thx...if dat was able 2 cum out frm u 2 sum1 hu USED 2 b once ur best fren,den i thank u sincerely frm the bottom of my heart.
i had enuf of crying...eyes r damn sore now,but life still goes on as usual...u go lead ur happy life wif ur happy frenz...oh yah,4 those hu judge me based on the 1 sided story,then piss off...
owellz,there's nth more 2 sae,nt much of a point aniwae...

now i realize...
now i noe wat kinda person u r...i've finally seen the real u...nv expected u 2 b sucha guy...ok so we r officially not frenz since 22 Feb is dat it?fine.
dun tink there's ani wae dat i can do 2 salvage diz animore...im very broken if u dunno...doubt u noe,coz u alwaes assume dat i can get over tings easily n so on...aniting den...it's sucha pity dat tings gotta end diz wae...

still groping on 2 hope...
b4 i sae aniting,i wanna let u noe dat im still holding no 2 the hope dat tings will b ok btwn us soon...
yes,im attached 2 him,but the place of a best fren can nv b replaced...bf/gf n best frenz haf no link at all...so neither can b replaced...
it takes both hands to clap,so if u wanna salvage diz frenship,u gotta work with me..yes i noe u nid time...but aint 1 yr plus or more abit TOO long?
haiz...life's been a whirlwind recently...

seperate waez we go?
ur post made me tear...it shows dat u do stand somewhere in my heart as a fren...i really dunno y u tink i dun care abt u at all...
i noe dat alot has happened recently but im tryin real hard...but there u r,totally givin up hope on our frenship...
if our 4 yrs frenship cant even last thru diz tough period,den im really perplexed as 2 wat 2 do...i really dun wanna lose diz frenship,it's so nt worth it...so will u plz put all grudges behind n start afresh?
oh yah...juz 2 let u noe...jay jay hasnt replaced u...he's he n u r u...so yah,ur status will nv b replaced...he's juz sum1 whom i can relate wif n the fact dat i can relate so well wif him is coz im actually helping him 2 chase diz particular gal,so naturally we r closer...but there's nth more 2 it than juz dat...

3 more wks of CIP 2 go...
2dae wen 2 Chen Su Lan Methodist Home again...i've got 3 more wks of it 2 go...cant wait 4 it 2 end!haha...aniwae,i self declared dat sch ended at 11am 2dae...haha...
baby came over 2dae...still here at the moment...gonna haf dinner wif my family b4 he heads back hm...he's singing 2 me now...
the best ting is dat he aint gonna work on saturdae n sundae!!!yay!finally he's taking leave!ok peeps...gtg...cya all...take care!

datz all i can do...
im nt gonna comment on wat u've written in ur journal posted on 19th feb...it's too hurtful...go ahead wif ur life n dun tell me den...listen 2 ur cousin,listen 2 ur frenz...
n im gettin u a v dae present nt coz of wateva reasons u assumed...im so disappointed dat u even had those kinda tots...i really cant believe u...
we r juz squabbling over smth dat'll totally harm our frenship n i dun c a point in us doin diz...

haiz...
hmm...i dunno y but weneva we chat,we seem 2 end up quarelling...i've been wondering if its coz u r expecting too much frm me?
coz frm wat i c,im still the same,juz dat u r like saein diz n dat n demanding n expecting alot frm me(eg:nv call u,nv contact u,nv tok 2 u...n the list goes on...)seriously speakin,i myself haf my own probz n im pretty sick of everyting oready...
well,i dunno,im tired...if u r gonna pick a fight wif me everytime we chat,den i dun c the point in us tokin...it'll onli further strain our frenship...
aniwae,watz wif the tok abt ur frenz askin u 2 let me go totally,even as a normal fren?wat kinda frenz r those man?2 tink dey wld encourage u 2 break off diz frenship wif me?i tink ur frenz r jerks...i mean c'mon lah,if dey were real frenz,dey wldnt even haf tot of dat ok!n if u wanna listen to dem,den so b it.i really cant do aniting...
im tired,really very tired...i've got nth more 2 sae...

valentine's dae...
had my test on v dae...den aft dat met my squadmates 2 go 2 jjc's carnival called love fiesta...my squadmates were crappy...esp jay jay...haha...dey all really noe how 2 make my dae...so it was pretty fun...
wen 2 his place frm 7 plus 2 9pm den we headed to novena n dined at fish n co...
i was like so freakin full man n i cldnt finish my fish n chips...it was really damn filling...haha...so yeahz,he finished it up 4 me...got a rose frm fish n co(all ladies got a rose)...well,althou v dae was spent juz liddat but it was pretty alrite lahz...
last nite had dinner wif his family n his grandad as well(last minute decision)...somewhere in amk...nt bad,quite nice...was pretty full too...
aniwae,ive got nth much 2 blog recently...so dun mind my boring entries...God Bless...

tired...but happy...
juz got hm frm all the last min valentine's dae shoppin coz tmr i'll b seeing all my classmates(all thx 2 biz stats CA...sux!)...so i had no choice but 2 get their's all by 2dae...
yay!tmr's the big dae 4 every1...(aft my biz stats paper dat is...)...haha...alot of exchanging of gifts will take place man!cant wait...haha...n aft my stats paper i'll b goin 2 carnivals at jjc n yjc wif my CI squadmates...juz cant wait!!!
but...im dreadin tmr's biz stats paper...haiz...haven really started on revision yet...aft diz im gonna disappear n study man!haha...
ok lahz...i gtg le...happy advance valentine's dae 2 all!

im crawling...at least im doin smth...
yes...i've finally started on my biz stats...finally got some lil motivation 2 start studyin 4 me...the more i fear it,the more i shld start earlier...
i dunno y but im startin 2 feel dat life is gettin more n more bland...seems like i nid more spices...oh creeps...i tink i betta get goin otherwise i'd really go nuts n nonsense will start spouting out frm me...

tiring dae...
juz got hm frm dinner at swensen's...wen 2 bumbong...so ulu...fed mosquitoes there somemore...haha...now so itchy sia...
aniwae,watz happening 2 u again boi?dun fall animore...u gotta get up on ur both feet again!u said dat my attitude 2wards u has changed...u may b rite but u gotta understand dat my life is nt 100% smooth-sailing...i've got my own probs 2 handle so i do get occasional mood swings...dat is smth dat i've got no control over...
im sure u'll b able 2 climb up on both ur feet soon...i wan 2 c u walk thru diz path on ur own as much as u can...dun rely on ppl...coz if u overcome diz urself,u'll definitely b a stronger man...
sch starts tmr...haven done my damn tutorial yet...n the most freakin thing is dat on 14th Feb,i haf my biz stats CA1...wat the *toot* man!n the worse ting is dat i noe nuts abt biz stats...im so doomed...i really gotta pull up my socks soon otherwise i'd b in deep shit...
alritez...i betta get goin oready...got sch tmr...humpx...

campfire...
cant wait 4 tmr...coz tmr is saiful's campfire...so it's a mini gathering 4 delta!cant wait 2 gather wif deltarians but nt alot seem 2 b goin...

lackin of smth...
hmm...felt shitty all over again 2dae...felt dat there's smth lackin in my life ever since it all ended...i was pretty alrite but wen i was on my wae hm,i started tinking n all the sweet memories flooded my head...
owell,had my shower,feelin a lil betta now...hope i'll stay diz wae n put him aside frm now on...(easier said than done but i'll try...)hopefully in no time i'd b back 2 my usual self again...
now i worry 4 my biz stats coz on the 14th feb,i'll b havin my biz stats CA...so freakish!muz get him 2 teach me,hope he will wanna coach me 4 stats,otherwise im a goner~!
met him on 2nd feb nite (1 dae aft it happened) n wat he said abt the last hug n so on was so piercing man...it was the wae he said it rather...so saddening...but he popped by on 3rd feb mornin b4 i wen 2 sch...haiz...dunno lahz,so messy sia tings now...
nvm,i'll juz take 1 dae at a time n c how tings goes...hope it'll b a betta tmr 4 me...

dashed...
everyting ended ydae...n i mean really ended...tink datz how tings gotta end...the incident on 30th jan 2004 sparked the fuse...he cld actually juz stone n left me there alone in orchard...apparently he said he was lookin 4 me but 2 no avail...he shld haf tried harder...
so now,im all alone again...leadin my single life...
now v dae will most prob b spent wif my frenz out there but it's ok,it's betta than nth...
well,i haven been bloggin much lately...dun haf much 2 write so yeahz...juz here 2 pour out abit of my sorrows n 2 update u ppl...
n boy,so glad dat u r alrite now...can c in ur journal dat u r much more lively oready...im so glad...stay cheery alwaes...b back soon!
alritez guys...cya all arnd...

confused...perplexed...huh?
i juz read ur journal...it seems 2 b a dialogue...like u r tokin 2 ur inner self...seems like the devil n angel in u r havin a conversation...r u alrite?u r scaring me...serious...dun lie 2 me...dun lie 2 urself as well...
u msged me diz morning abt someting dat u r gonna do...wat is it?i dowanna lose the old ben i once knew...it's really very saddening 2 noe dat the ben i noe now aint the ben i once knew...

*return back soon in ur old self...*

haiz...
haiz...had a chat wif u last nite n well,i dun feel dat good now...hope dat u wun dwell over things dat will make u so troubled...try 2 look on the bright side of life n chill k?i wan u 2 b the happy boi i once knew...
as 4 V dae...im so sorri dat u were 1 step too late...i'll try 2 make it 4 ur date,i'll c how im able 2 plan out my dae on dat dae...but meanwhile,try 2 get another date or smth liddat so u wun b lonely...take care k?

long vacation is soon 2 end...
haiz...cny holz r ending soon le but the gd ting is dat u r cumin back tmr!haha...den u can haf back ur hp den i wun haf 2 worry abt takin gd gd gd care of ur hp...haha...
tink u'd b back sae in the afternoon?im nt too sure coz u din really tell me properly...but hope u really had lotsa fun at thailand...haha...
aniwae,diz few daez dat u aint here...things r pretty calm...nth major happened...he din make life hard 4 me...well yeahz,im fine...
aniwaez...juz waiting 4 ur safe return hm tmr!

Happy Lunar New Year!!!
yeahz!it's the chinese new yr le!!!haha...i juz woke up nt too long ago...shld b leavin hm later arnd 1pm?i dunno...haha...
aniwae,i wen out wif ben ydae,watched sch of rock...dat show really rocked man!haha...had fun wif ben,gr8 company...
u r at changi airport at the moment so by the time u r reading diz,u r safe n sound at the comfort of ur own hm...wish u'd u back soon...
ur last entry on ur journal was like so touching...so sweet...thx so much... :) im praying dat u'll recover frm wateva sickness u r suffering frm n enjoy urself alot during ur trip...
ok,i gtg n shower n get ready 2 go n bai nian le...happy lunar new yr!Gong Xi Fa Cai!!!

yay!yippie!yay!
i bought my shoes le...it's the nike shoes dat ive targetted for a long time oready...haha...i bought it at queensway but so sad i had 2 take the display set coz no more new pair 4 my size!
but nvm lahz,at least i got the shoes dat ive alwaes wanted...haha...cant wait 2 wear it...but tink i gotta buy another pair of shoes coz i bu she de wear my nike shoes 4 npcc training...hahaha...
yeahz...thx 4 goin 2 queensway wif me ydae yah?haha...n thx so much 4 sheltering me frm the rain n u urself got pretty wet...haha...hope u wun get a cold...muz take care k?somemore u r goin abroad le,all the more muz take care n haf fun...
k lahz...my computer lesson abt 2 start le...gtg...ciaoz!

gr8 dae...
yoz...juz got hm abt 1/2 hr ago...wen out wif mercurians...den aft dat met up wif ben,ting xian,jia en,derrick n edwin...
wen 2 suntec 2 chilled at the fountain of wealth...n althou it was juz a short while,i enjoyed his company...haha...
n oh yah,thx 4 sending me back yeahz?haha...so nice of u...aniwae,enjoyed myself pretty much...alritez,haf a nice wkend ahead...take care!

hmm...
my hair is straight now...but abit too flat at the fringe...now i understand y steph alwaes clip up her fringe during the 1st few daez wen sch re-opened...haha...
ok,goin out wif mercurians later at 3pm...dunno watz 2dae's plans...muz b juz walk walk arnd,look at our grp tee n c if the design is acceptable n datz abt it...haha...
hmm...sometimes i wish 2 b wif u coz u r a pretty gd bf material budden there r too mani barriers btwn us,n somehow i juz noe dat tings wun work out perfectly...so i'd rather we love each other as best pals n b alwaes there 4 each other wen we nid...so we'll juz let tings go wif fate n time n juz c how it all goes...
alritez im goin 2 prepare 2 go out...cheerios!

tired...
juz got hm abt 1/2 hr ago...stayed over at PHS last nite...so freakin tired now!slept at like 2.30am n woke at 5am coz cherry n i had 2 go 2 Hwa Chong JC 4 our road marshal duty 2 clear our probation...
oh yah ben,thanx 4 lending ur windbreaker 2 me last nite...w/o it i tink i wld haf been real frozen...sorri if i casued u ani inconvenience...im really grateful 4 ur windbreaker...
im sorri 4 all the torture u r goin thru but im sort of stuck now as well...somehow i cant really get myself out of diz situation...i hafta b sure not 2 make the same mistake again...sorri 4 kiping dat fact frm u...
n if u really wanna leave n nt care abt me animore,i understand perfectly...coz i noe dat u r tired of everyting...i really appreciate ur care n concern n im sorri dat i haven been showing my side......sometimes i am,but mayb nt it's nt obvious enuf 4 u...
aniwaez,i mite b rebonding my hair later...wonder if my parents will sponsor me...i hope so...okiez,i gtg,gonna catch some slp...very tired...

yay!
juz got hm...haha...wen 2 the hairdresser aft my trip dwn 2 phs...wen 2 cut my fringe!haha...now it's smth like wat ive alwaes wanted...haha...n mayb in march(during the 1 wk holz),im gonna straighten my hair...coz the auntie told me dat wif my hair length,it wun even cross 100 bucks n datz like so freakin cheap!haha...cant wait!

hmm...
u mentioned dat wen u r out wif me,u feel troubled...wat abt?i dun get u...izzit coz of how tings r at the moment or?
i worry 4 u weneva i read ur journal coz it's like u r so sad...i noe dat u r goin thru a rough patch now but try 2 lighten up ok?sometimes u really noe how 2 make me feel guilty,coz i seem 2 b the root 2 all dat u r goin thru now...mayb if we haven met back den,i tink u'd b a happier person...
but i juz wanna let u noe dat noein u was 1 of the greatest joy in my life...i really enjoy ur company n the love im gettin frm u...i dun eva wanna lose u as a fren,so plz pull urself 2gether...b the happy boi dat i once knew,i love u the wae u were...
i wanna b there 2 share ur ups n downs once again...so dun shut me out of ur life...
hmm...i gtg...sch ended oready,i nid 2 go 2 phs now...take care...

yippiez!
wen out wif ben 2dae aft sch...juz 2 spend time 2gether n look 4 my new yr clothes...
really had fun wif u 2dae my boi...althou it was like so lame?haha...walk arnd suntec n even strolled round carrefour!haha...hope u din feel 2pid goin arnd wif me...haha...
met my mum at 6pm,wen shoppin wif her!haha...juz got hm...time check: 2119 hrs ...she bought me a bottom n a top frm erm...wateva dat shop name is...starts wif B...haha...a shop in suntec...haha...still haven got my footwear thou...tink i gotta get it at my own expense...
ok lahz,overall i had fun 2dae...coz of the shoppin spree wif my mummy!hahaha...if onli im like damn freakin loaded den i'd go 4 diz kinda shoppin spree as often as i can man!haha...yay yay yay!i wan 2 go somemore shopping!
alritez ppl,i betta stop now...take care...luv u all!cheerios!

perplexed...
hey boy,haven i told u b4 dat i dowanna ruin our pleasant relationship now n by goin 1 step futher than it is now mite actually juz destroy everyting?i juz love tings the wae we r rite now...
i noe i haven really played my role as ur best pal all these yrs but it's coz i cant really find time 2 really settle dwn n haf a nice tok wif u or watsoeva...tink aft the talk wif martin will change my perception...meanwhile,u chill out n take care...

hahaha...
haha,skipped last 2 lectures(econs n accounts) 2dae...so i officially ended sch at 11am...haha...in the end,steph n i wen 2 orchard 2 wif daryl...apparently he skipped sch 2dae so yeahz,ended up goin shoppin wif us...
wen 2 sameer's n sau man's sec sch's sec 1 orientation campfire 2dae at pingyi sec at bedok...juz got hm abt sae 10 mins ago...haha...sebas n jay jay like persuaded(or forced rather)me 2 go sia...hahaha...
met up wif jay jay at novena n we took a cab dwn 2 bedok...n he paid 4 all expenses...so nice rite?haha...make me so paiseh onli...haha...somemore he dowanna accept my share of the taxi fare...make me feel even worse...haha...
but im very happy coz i somehow helped jay-jay quite alot wif his cindy biz...haha...i'd encourage him n he'd turn 2 me 4 advice etc,i feel so happy 2 b of such help...
we planned on how he'd 2 send cindy hm 2dae quite some time back n finally 2dae,he's 1 step closer 2 his goal...im happy 4 him...haha...
well guys,i tink i betta sign off now...got parade tmr somemore... *yawnz*...haha...nitez!

over...
it's over btwn us n i initiated it...i dunno y but i feel sad...ppl haf been tokin bad abt him,but frm my pt of view,i find him 2 b alritez...
i tink i juz dun c tings rite at the moment...im crushed n lost n i dunno wat 2 do...guess i hafta take some time off everyting...im juz wondering if diz is the choice n the path dat i really wanna take...i may regret my decision but onli time will tell...

nt a bad dae...
haha...ended sch abt 1 and 1/2 hrs earlier 2dae coz biz stats practical lecturer let us off earli...
wen 2 mit ben n his cousin n his cous's gf...haha...
aniwae the wae martin (ben's cous) spent money was terrible...he juz collected his pay n he splurged it on a pair of levi's jeans which was $100 over n a polo ralph t-shirt which cost $97...omg,he really noes how 2 spend!haha...aniwae,i tink it's fun 2 gif urself a treat once in awhile esp wen u r pretty loaded...cool shit!

oh man...
argh!my sandflies bites r still itching like mad!it's been almost a mth oready!yet it's still itchin a lot!i cannot take it animore!i wanna tear my skin off man!n the marks r so red n ugly...im prayin hard dat the marks wun leave scars...
the medication the doc gave me doesnt seem 2 haf ani effect on me man!now...the itch is cumin back 2 me again...seems like it's itchier than b4...oh man...
i tink i gotta buy some skin repair cream 2 remove those ugly red marks...it's killin me!argh!i gotta do smth abt it...
oh no...tmr sch is startin...so boring!haiz...haven had enuf holidae yet...more than 2 wks was spent on my CI course n so much of my time on NPCC...i haven even had some fun n now sch is startin?!
i betta stop here n get goin...ITCHY!hahaha...take care dudes!

whoa!
1st ting's 1st...wen 2 Conrad Hotel 2dae for dinner at Oscar's...so full!now still feel so bloated man!hahaha...
ben,u made a changing pt in my life as well,a pretty gr8 impact...but it's a gd ting...im glad dat i met u...it's really a miracle dat we met(considering dat we met thru a real funny wae)...guess diz is fate...
remember that whichever gal u choose,make sure dat she's a gd gal,i dowan u 2 regret ur choice again...n if i haf a comment,do heed it,coz most of the time i rite abt it...so yah,thx 4 bein so caring 2wards me...love u alwaez...take care!

happy new yr!!!
yay!it's 2004 oready!haha...happy new yr 2 all!hahaha...i juz got up...reach hm onli at 7.20am diz morning...haha...stayed out the whole nite...was really very fun...i got bullied by Jay-Jay,Sebastian n Ahmad...so bad,the 3 of dem kept squashin me btwn dem!
met deltarians at 4pm n alot of dem were late,onli Jay-Jay n Raymond were quite punctual...so yeahz,we juz sat at orchard mrt n waited 4 all the late comers...
aft dat,we went 4 dinner at long john's silver at cineleisure...cant believe we went ALL the wae 2 orchard juz 2 eat fast food...zZzZz!!!
aft dinner,we booked tickets at Lido for Ju-On 2 at 1am...haha...wen dwn 2 esplanade 4 the countdwn...the fireworks were SO SO SO pretty!wun 4get last nite...
aft countdwn,we rushed back 2 orchard 2 catch the show...haha...storyline of Ju-On 2 was lame but bearable,scary enuf...the onli ting i cldnt stand was ppl screaming,esp the gals behind...so noisy ok!Jay-Jay n i were like laffing thru the show coz Sameer had some really very lame jokes...haha...he was like saein the ghost was like a robot...so everytime she appeared,he'll sae dat n we'll start laffing...ppl muz haf tot dat we were nuts coz it's a horror show n yet we were laffin...
aft the movie,we walked back 2 esplanade...but din really go straight 2 esplanade...the 13 of us walked arnd like a buncha idiots...wahaha...can u imagine how much walkin we did?haha...we stayed over at esplanade...really very fun...
took the morning train hm wif Ahmad n Jay-Jay n dropped off at yck wif Jay-Jay...haha...he lent me a hand 2 get me up in the mrt but i used the pole instead n he gave me the -_- face,so cute...muahaha...
all i can sae is deltarians rox!n i'll rem diz countdwn 4 a long time...

trying hard...
thanx 4 nt giving up on me...althou we r juz best pals,im glad u r showing me more care than wat i deserve...im grateful 4 dat...
im sad dat u r hurt but still strive on 4 me...but rem 1 ting : if u wld 2 meet a gal u fancy,go 4 it,i'll alwaes b here 2 support u,dun dwell on tings...i wan u 2 b happy...
im tryin my best 2 b as happy as i can b...i juz nid more time...i nid 2 leave the mess i made 4 myself...n his cluthces r too strong...i tried real hard last nite,i had enuf of everyting...it was really tiring 4 me last nite...now im all puffed up... =(
2dae is new year's eve...enjoy urself at the chalet...b happy...

swollen eyes,heavy heart...
juz had a tiff wif him...n now dat im chattin wif u online,i still dun feel betta coz u r troubled...n ur troubles r makin me troubled as well...ur entry was so hurtin...i really dunno wat 2 sae but im glad dat u said wat u really feel...
im at a lost now...even ur cousin told u 2 gif up on me...if he strongly feels dat im nt worth it 4 wateva u r doin 4 me,den mayb u shld listen 2 him...mayb the msg u put across 2 him was dat im in the wrong...datz y...it's nt as if i wanna b in the situation dat i am in now.
i had enuf of cryin...it's too tiring...dunno if i'd enjoy myself at the countdwn tmr...haiz...

countdwn tmr...
tmr is the countdwn 4 2004!goin 2 countdwn wif the deltarians!
as 4 u,i wish u'll bring me back...dun leave me behind...i dun wish 2 go thru wat im goin thru now...im in a fix,n u noe my condition the best,so u r the 1 hu understands it all the best...
as 4 how im goin 2 get outta the mess im in,i really haf no idea...i nid ur support alot...coz u r my best pal,my pillar in life...don't gif up hope on me...
aniwae he doesn't haf 2 noe wat we said,coz it's so none of his biz...i noe wat kinda person he is now...mr super buaya...dunno lahz,cant b bothered oready aniwae...
hey!im glad dat ur mood is improving oready!muz b coz of ur GD88 rite?hahaha...n dun use dat pic aniwhere,coz it's dumb...look so toot...nxt time muz take betta 1...haha...muz take wif me lah,dun alwaes ask me 2 take alone!hahaha...

mercury's outing!
yay!juz got hm...wen out wif my ATC mercury grp 2dae...so fun...althou all we did was juz eat n tok n walk arnd...oh yah,made a trip 2 the arcade as well...haha...din noe chee wee cld dance para para so well...haha...

i tink my decision's not the rite one...

cum back 2 me...
hmm...last nite was a pretty fun dae...wen 2 roszian's hse(at pasir ris) for dinner...peeps hu wen were: ahmad,aslam,saiful,emily,sylvia,xianping n i...dinner at roszian's place was good...yummy...the drumstick was like so freakin big...aft dat we wen 2 pasir ris beach but cldnt stay long coz we were all so afraid of missing the last bus!so dat was how i spent my xmas nite...
as 4 u...im sorri dat u found out n it din came frm me...sorri 2 hide it frm u all diz while...i knew u'd b hurt datz y i chose 2 kip quiet n fill u in later wen i tink it's the rite time...i noe u r feelin dwn n i dun feel good either...i shldnt haf kept it frm u but i juz din noe how 2 tell u...
tings aint goin too well btwn him n i...had a major quarrel wif him last nite (xmas nite)...im startin to doubt my choice oready...
im seriously very apologetic...wenever i was out wif u,i din noe how 2 face u...it was a tuff job tryin 2 kip smth so major frm u...
now dat u noe,plz try nt 2 b too affected...dun feel dat u've lost me k?im still here 4 u,will alwaes b...n plz dun distant urself frm me again like the wae u did mani times b4...i miz u...

xmas eve!
it's the holly season once again!wen out wif ben 2dae...wen 2 suntec n searched 4 Lay's potato chips,coz i was craving 4 it...haha...
den we went 2 esplanade's rooftop n rotted up there munching on chips!how sinful but aye,wat the heck!it's good 2 indulge once in awhile!aft dat we sat by the bay,enjoy the breeze there n once again,i popped sinful stuff in2 my mouth!candy floss!man,im sucha pig!
so yeahz,we practically spent the dae liddat...haha...althou din do much,the time spent was nice,haven been spending much time wif him so it's worth it!had fun,really...
miting him later 2nite 4 the so-called countdwn...hahaha...exchanging gifts wif him...kaoz!i so paiseh 2 gif him his gift sia!so maluating!hahaha...merry xmas 2 all!cheerios!

life is so unpredictable...
sometimes i really wonder y our lives r shaped diz wae...y do tings happen the wae dey happen?izzit oready fated 2 b liddat or wat?i really do wonder...
wen tings seems 2 b gettin on the right track,somehow or another smth crops up n now,we seem 2 b back at square 1 again...dun understand y all these r happening...
as 4 u,i thank u 4 the sweetness im gettin frm u,i really appreciate wat u've done 4 me as well as wat u r doin 4 me...i seriously dunno where 2 find sum1 else hu's as nice as u...so plz go back 2 ur usual cheery self,i miz the old u...i want alwaes there wen u nided me,n i noe sometimes i dun pay enuf attention 2 u,but u hafta understand dat i haf my own issues.im glad dat u care so much 4 me n sometimes i feel so pampered n so loved...
i really wan us 2 b alwaes in touch 4eva,n u'll alwaes b my guardian angel,the best i eva had...

dammit!
haiz...xmas is round the corner n im sufferin frm sandfly bites!it's so damn freakin itchy!feel like chopping my limbs off man!n im nt supposed 2 scratch dem coz it'll spread like wild fire!argh!
oh aniwae,i really had fun ever since my CIBTC ended...been goin out wif my squadmates till late everydae like abt 10pm...hahaha...hope dat 1 dae we'll haf a full delta squad outing or a mercury grp outing...so song!hahaha...
well,im goin back 2 PHS tmr 4 the 1st time as a WCI...hahaha...shiok!wonder how tings will b like man!muahahah!

n ben!im oso happy dat tings r so ok btwn us now...haha...hope tings will alwaes b so peaceful n happy!take care dude...

yippie!
finally graduated ydae!!!hahaha...wen 4 diz xtra ceremonial parade 2dae n will last till 19th...it's an experience so i dun mind goin 4 it...
took mani pics on my graduation...so memoriable...n i'll miss my squadmates n mercury grp mates sia...haha...hope we'll kip in contact alwaes...hahaha!
aww...hope jay-jay will cum back soon den we deltarians can go out as a full squad!hahaha...i simply luv our squad gatherings!we r like a bunch of nutters man!
was at orchard wif dem ydae n we were like cheering all the wae...our 3 cheers wif the high block,low block,middle block,PULL BACK SIR!!!hahaha...fun man!
oh yah,my mercury grp won the best improvement grp award during ATC n i personally won the best shooter 4 female...hahaha...got a plaque wif my name on it as well,how cool...im so thrilled!

awaiting...
tmr's the last dae of my course...i cant wait!but i'll miss my batch mates...dey r a bunch of very lovable ppl!oh yah,jay-jay left at 3.30pm 2dae coz he gotta attend his sis's graduation in australia...shiok rite?!hahaha...he took loads of pics 2dae we took one 2gether too!muahaha!
no jay-jay n my squad seems so quiet,nt the same...he'll b back onli on xmas dae...so long!but he'll b gettin us gifts...swt rite?hehe...
yay!i cant wait 4 tmr!!!it's the last dae of my course!!!hahaha...im goin bonkers but i seriously cant wait lor...but i'll realli miss all the peeps in the 65th batch CIBTC...no worries thou,coz we deltarians will alwes kip in touch n i seriously hope so lor...hahaha...i juz cant wait 4 diz 2 end!

im back!!!
im finally back back back frm ATC!!!!!
well...apparently my ATC group (mercury) angered the instructors there on dae 2 of the camp n mr seong threatened 2 send us back...meaning we gotta OOC...so demoralising ok!
but we proved our worth n we made it up 4 our wrong doings the following daez...hahaha!althou it's tough lah budden it's really a memoriable ting...moreover,my grp got diz "wake up call" frm mr seong so it really did us a lotta good...mercury were treated like shit but we climbed n soar thru!i can really sae dat diz cant b done w/o bonding n good team work!
im like so freaking happy dat everyting is finally over le!left 2 more daez n the whole course is over!
oh yahz...im darker than b4 now,all thanx 2 kayaking n rafting...hahaha!cheers!

muahaha...
tmr's ATC oready!!!n coz im under logistics,i gotta reach PA by 6.30am tmr mornin!n guess wat...haha...2dae aft dismissal,jay-jay n i walked out 2gether n at the bus stop he asked if im able 2 make it dwn 2 PA dat earli n was like saein dat mayb i can get a ride frm him...hahaha!n of coz i agreed to his offer lah,hu wldnt rite?den i wldnt nid to lug my barang barang on the public bus!
so yahz,jay-jay agreed 2 try 2 get his dad 2 send cherry n i 2 PA tmr...haha...so nice of him 2 offer man!hahaha...gotta go n pack my tings 4 tmr's ATC le...meanwhile u guys take care!

ATC cumin up!
sianz...ATC cumin up le...on wed...so boring!
ydae afew of my squadmates n i met up 2 do the knots n lashings chart thingy...the few of us were jason,sylvia,emily,jay-jay n i...hahaha...was pretty fun lahz...we like left orchard onli at 9pm...late sia!somemore all of us haven done up our uniforms etc etc...jay-jay n i stopped at yck n took bus frm the same bus stop...yippie!haha...he's pretty cute lahz...hahaha...
ok ok...i betta stop harping on n on abt him...so happy dat aft diz course we r gonna haf a squad outing n den kip in touch...apparently jay-jay oready invited us 4 his sch's dunno wat event...so cool...
alritez,tink i betta get back 2 my uniform(as usual...)...cyaz!

yay!
it's finally the wkend!so happy!can finally get some rest!hahaha...had .38 classification shoot 2dae...was pretty good...fun...n my score was considered as quite good lahz...haha...
so tired now...feel like slping but cant coz later gotta go out at arnd 5 plus...den tmr i gotta mit up wif my ATC grp 2 do the flag...so shitty...haha...but can get 2 c Jay-Jay...so interesting!
ah heck sia...i wanna rest!!!

soon it'll b over...(i hope)...
4th dae is over...stepping in2 the 5th dae of training tmr...was chosen as my squad's drill IC,still got 3 more other ppl wif me(Jay-Jay, Sebastian and Roszian),so dat shows some standard?haha...
im seriously aching all over man...i nid a gd massage aft my course...both my feet hurts like hell now...aching like shit...been runnin too much man!but it's a gd form of exercise!hahaha...
ah shucks!i gtg now...gotta do all the homework posted by my CIIs n do up my uniform again(as usual)...so shitty...kk,ciaoz!

tired is all i can sae...
2dae's the 3rd dae of my CIBTC n im so tired!im so tired dat i dun really noe the real meaning of bein tired...guess im immune 2 watz bein called tired...haha...shows how much life diz course is takin outta me!im juz so tired dat my mind aint functioning properly...
well,i juz hope 2 b still half alive aft the end of diz course which is on the 16th dec...i wanna live!diz is suckin too much energy frm me...pray hard i can live thru it!
alritez,guess im boring u guys out...cheerios!

damn!
i juz entered hell!1st dae of training 2dae was like so...URGH!all i can sae is dat i juz set 1 foot of mine in2 hell n seems like there's no turning back animore...dammit!
im left wif 13 more daez of torture...how m i gonna survive?haiz...haiz...k lahz,gtg n do up my uniform le...ciaoz!

doom awaits me...
tmr will b dae 1 of my CIBTC...im so nervous n ive nt done up my uniform!gotta prepare everything by 2dae...die lah!haiz...i'll try 2 survive thru diz...muahaha...alritez i gtg...muz start now or else it's too late le!ciaoz!

yippeiz!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i finally wen 2 PA 2 collect my CI uniform n the briefing...was pretty scared initially but turned out ok...worry 4 nth...haha...rained like mad den we were all soaked...esp out shoes!so disgusting...haha...
n we gotta lug ALL the tings back man!so freaking heavy!owellz,now im juz waitin 4 the course 2 start!n im worrying again!hahaha...muz wear full-u on mondae!got so mani tings 2 do!tmr muz wash all the uniform,alter,polish boots,put up everyting...man!im gonna b real bz!haha...alritez,dowanna bore u peeps le...take care!

hehehe...
happy sha-la-la...it's so nice 2 b happy...hahaha...alritez,u peeps may tink im nuts...i am so wat?ahahhaa...i juz nid 2 show my happiness...4 wat reason,it's a secret!wahahaa...!im an ass!

geez...
i juz got a hug...my "1st" hug aft 2 yrs...haha...the feelin is so...unexplainable...wahaha...i've got nth much 2 sae...juz dat hmm...i feel different 2dae...wahaha...
n yikes!it's thursdae!meaning im left wif onli 1 dae 2 my collection of uniform n briefing!im startin 2 freak out oready...
im over the moon!!!nt really lahz...but juz happy!haha...cheerios!

ewww...
wen 2 PHS 2dae 2 take the NCOs 4 campcraft n aft dat i wen 2 cut my hair n yikes!it's so terrible!it's like so short now(still can tie budden it's much shorter than b4)...n it seems so dry...yucky!tink i gotta go 4 some hair treatment soon...shldnt haf dyed my hair in the 1st place...shld haf left it in it's original straight n silky state...owell...
now i gotta dye back black coz of my course...meanin there'll b MORE damage 2 my hair!guess i'll rebond it 1 more time n datz it...leave it as dat...juz hope dat aft dying my hair black the condition will b betta...if it gets worse,i'll b so devastated manz...
sumeone came over frm 3pm all the wae 2 7pm...so cool lahz,had fun...haha...at least my dae wasnt so dead 2dae...haha...
hey,wat do u mean by i get u mad?hey look,u r NOT the onli 1 wif feelings alrite so watz all those tok abt ME gettin YOU mad?wateva lahz...now wateva i do is wrong wrong wrong...n u juz gotta sae it out.

i've got it...
well,life's been a whirlwind these few daez but it seems like tings r startin 2 get back on tracks...i really do hope so...my course is drawing near n im like so freakin scared...
yeahz ok dude,we'll work smth out...guess it's the turning pt at diz moment huh...u r sum1 very dear 2 me alrite so dun sae tings like u dont mean aniting 2 me...
well,i sure do hope dat everyting will b back 2 like b4 soon...

cold...so cold...
he has changed...he said i changed but i dun tink my change is as drastic as his...his attitude 2wards me is like so cold now...
y izzit dat everytime smth happens btwn us,u'll juz shun awae n start giving me dat cold treatment...in the past it was liddat...n now history is repeating again...do u alwaes run awae frm probz in diz manner?i juz dun understand y...
howeva,im glad dat u r feelin much betta nw...may u go back 2 b ur usual self soon...n u noe i hate it most especially wen im given the cold treatment...i tasted it once frm u 3 yrs back n im tasting it again...
but if giving me diz kinda treatment makes u feel betta,den go ahead...as long as u feel less crummy,den it's ok,im willing 2 accept wateva kinda attitude u wanna gimme...hope u'll enjoy ur holz...

~the greatest liberation is to forgive...~

Friendship
im sure true frenship will b able 2 help us thru diz...haf faith,tings will b betta as soon as everyting is settled...aft ur course n my course...i juz seriously pray dat the close bond dat we share of more than juz frenz will pull us thru...
go thru ur CLT course wif the willpower u once had...seek the dream u've yearned 4 all along...dun let it go liddat juz coz of diz setback...the ting btwn us now shldnt b affecting ur goals...i wan u 2 continue 2 realise ur dream...go 4 wat u wan,wat u aspire...
time will make up 4 everyting...gif me time as well as gif urself time...dun rush me...i'll try my best...i may nt b able 2 do it 2 the degree dat u r satisfied,so pardon me...
hope dat wif diz entry,u'll feel betta...i seriously hope 2 c u back 2 ur old cranky dorky hyper self...cum back soon...

*i'll work hard 2 get tings back on track again...
but plz work along side wif me...*

tired...
wen 2 PHS 2 help out in the NCO's campcraft training n althou i did nth,but im darn tired cos i slept late last nite...got hm n slept like a log man...haha...there's training tmr as well but i aint goin...goin dwn on mondae thou 2 help isaac out...haha...
as 4 u,u wanna noe how i feel rite?im havin very mixed feelings...u feel im nt givin u enuf attention mayb cos it's ur o's n my poly life aint as slack as it seems...tings wun turn arnd anitime soon coz u got ur CLT course n i got my CI course...dat will pull us apart somemore coz we wun haf much time 2 tok during dat period but i hope dat our frenship will b able 2 endure dat tough period...
also,im so sorri dat i cant attend ur passing out parade...it clashes wif my course...u noe i'd definitely go if i could...
we'll find some time aft everything alrite?n if it's possible,we'll spend xmas over the fone like b4?or mayb mit up or smth...but if u oready haf plans den it's alrite...haf fun...meanwhile,take care...

haha...
shock is the word...he came over juz nw...n we chatted frm 10 plus 2 12...haha...juz sat arnd the bend outside my place n chatted...apparently he was running wif his fren n i haf no idea how he ended up at my area...wahaha...but it was nice time spent...

Urgh...
tink im gonna die of excessive exposure 2 radiation...was on the fone wif jeremy last nite 4 abt 6 n a half hrs!the last 4 hrs i was using my dad's hp...can die man!!!if diz goes on,i'll probably bcum a walkin zombie wif leaking fluids frm the head n b practically nuts...
hmm...betta slp early 2nite otherwise i'd really b a walkin zombie tmr...haha...cant wait 2 go out tmr!yay!we r headin 2 Lips 2 sit there n chit chat n practically rot lahz...haha...n here cums my cookies invasion!cant wait 2 eat it...i noe it's sinful n all...but hu cares?!it's ok 2 indulge once in awhile rite?hahaha...aniwae im goin 4 my course soon so i gotta enjoy life while i can now...haha...
yay!juz cant wait...im so happy!lalala...haha...cheerios!

*Yawnz Yawnz*
wahahaha...haven slept a wink yet!been awake the whole nite!was playin ps2 n tokin 2 daryl on the fone...n the dumb thing was dat at 3am, i was toking 2 daryl on the fone as well as online...wat the hell!so lame manz...
n now it's day break...n i tink im gonna try 2 slp...man...im becumin more active at nite...haha...alritez...gonna try 2 catch a wink...

*Yawnz*
juz woke up...so tired...ydae wen 2 work wif my mum 2 shred papers...had 2 lug those papers n clear the rubbish myself...but owell,it was worth it coz i finished my job in 3/4 dae n haha,earned 50 bucks on the spot...shiok or wat sia...haha...alritez,i gtg...cyaz!

Haiz...
oh manz...i juz received the confirmation for the 65th batch CI BTC frm NPCC HQ...im dreading it!!!argh...i was hoping dat i wldnt get selected but...wat the heck!muz go thru 2 weeks of hellish training!im gonna DIE man!haiz...so dreading 28th nov 2 cum coz datz the breifing date n i hate 1st-16th dec!datz wen the course will b!dammit...haiz...hope everything will b as easy like wat Isaac said...

Happy,sha-la-la...
haha...juz got hm at 1am...had a hell of a time man!aft paper...my classmates n i wen 2 chinatown...wanted 2 go ktv but dunno wat happened so ended up eating onli but it was so fun!ate like pigs! stingray,sotong,etc!!!yummy!im still damn full now...
aft dat we wen 2 esplanade 2 juz sit n chit chat...the interesting thing was dat my fren n i wen hm by mrt n we stupidly n blurly took the wrong side w/o noticing until we reached redhill n i was like "shit,y r we at redhill?" my goodness!i totally freaked out!coz it was oready 11.45pm!ended up havin 2 go back 2 cityhall n luckily we managed 2 catch the last train back...phew!
well,we really had a gr8 time...so happy...nv spent a class outing liddat b4...haha alritez...i'll sign off now...cyaz!

Freedom Is Soon 2 Be Mine...(or so i tink?)
muahahaha...aft 2nite's paper...i can rock the world!i can play my heart out,play till my lungs run out of air,play till the blood in my veins run dry...i dun care!if onli i dun get restricted so much by my parents...how nice wld dat b?but bein restricted is gd 2 a certain extent...at least im still a normal gal,nt some rebelious,screw loose in the head kid...n im proud of it...
but 4 now...im 1/2 dead coz the exam is 2nite yet im nt done wif studying!n look wat im doin here...haha...luckily it's accounts n ive got background 4 dat,but the last fews chapts im a lil rusty...alritez,i better move my butt now...cheerios!

After tmr...
yes oh yes!i juz cant wait 4 tmr!!!aft tmr's paper,im a free gal!!!but sadly,the paper is in the evening so dat means i can onli party at nite...juz cant wait!!!i wanna party!!!
ive my plans oready...aft tmr,muz start shoppin 4 xmas gifts n new year clothes n stuff...den mayb get a job?(nahz...im too lazy 4 dat,i rather stay at hm n slack n rot)...hehehe!

KILLER IS OVER!!!
man...i was so pissed 4 the past 2 daes coz i was wondering hu on earth invented economics but now...im ON TOP OF THE WORLD!!!coz it's FINALLY over!althou nt totally over,but the exam is over!still gotta live wif econs 4 another 1/2 a yr...y muz it b a yr long module?!
hahaha...1 more paper n it's the holz 4 me oready!juz cant wait...im juz counting the daez man...n the last paper is accounts...yay!but the dumb thing is dat the paper will b frm 6pm-7.40pm...so weird...but aft dat mayb goin 4 steamboat wif my classmates!
kk,i betta get goin,dowanna write too much n bore u peeps...cyaz!